How to Talk about Abortion at work
Episode 357 | Author: Emilie Aries Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog post and podcast does not, and is not intended to constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content, and materials are for informational purposes only.
Coming back after a long holiday weekend, which should’ve been about celebrating independence, feels hollow, since not even two weeks ago, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, ultimately denying the protection of women’s reproductive rights at a federal level.
This is the first time in modern history that constitutional rights are being taken away instead of expanded. And this decision is especially harmful for BIPOC, lower-income, immigrant, LGBTQIA+ people and other traditionally marginalized communities, as well as the healthcare providers serving these communities.
Here’s what we’re not going to do: this is not a time to shy away from talking about abortion. We need to be unequivocal here: abortion access affects everyone. It affects you, people you love, and yes, people you work with.
We know that one in four women will have an abortion in their lifetime. So if you work with women or people who love women, or if your organization serves women: this will not only impact your team, it will affect your organization.
So today I want to talk about how to talk about abortion at work.
Last week, a member of the Bossed Up Courage Community on Facebook asked:
This all goes back to safety in a basic way: if you want to create a workplace where people feel safe, it’s imperative that we create space to talk about how people are feeling about the overturn of Roe v. Wade.
And look, you don’t need to be a fan of abortion or a fan of talking about reproduction and people’s personal choices to be willing to acknowledge how triggering and threatening this turn of events has been.
If you work at a company that had a response to the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and police brutality in 2020, or has ever held space for Pride and celebrating LGBTQIA+ rights, or has any kind of women’s employee resource group: there is no excuse to stay silent on this issue.
In an op-ed for Fast Company, Yelp CEO Jeremy Stoppelman, wrote this last month:
“Companies who have for years claimed that diversity and inclusion is a priority must recognize that restricting women’s rights to decide when to have children will severely impact their well-being and limit their access to equitable opportunities for success in the workplace. When roughly 50% of the U.S. population faces greater barriers not only to participating in the workforce and advancing to leadership positions, but simply to exercise their right to self-determination, it undermines any corporate commitment to gender equity. Remaining silent on the issue of reproductive rights flies in the face of any public pledges professing a desire to create more diverse and inclusive companies."
So how do we begin talking about abortion at work?
1. Give yourself & others time and space to mourn our loss of rights.
Make designated space for discussion: whether it’s a casual conversation over lunch or a more formal all-hands meeting, make it known ahead of time that you’re going to host a forum to discuss how people are feeling, so folks can opt in or out based on their preference or comfort level. You don’t need formal authority or seniority to start these conversations either, although that helps. Anyone can post on the company chat channel, “Hey, I’m feeling pretty shaken up by the overturn of Roe v. Wade. If anyone else wants to discuss how you’re coping with the news or just vent about this decision with me, I’ll be in the break room at 12:30 pm for lunch.” Don’t wait for permission if this is a conversation you feel compelled to start.
Set some ground rules: What is your intent in hosting this discussion? What ground rules are you going to ask everyone to adhere to? If you’re worried about your colleagues’ ability to remain civil when differing opinions arise, try to head that off by setting some ground rules. Such guidelines might include: “We’re not here to persuade one another, we’re here to listen to one another.” Or “we’re going to speak to one another with respect.” Or “we’re not here to argue over what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’ but instead we’re here to acknowledge that our feelings and experiences are valid.”
At the outset, explain that if these ground rules are not followed, then this conversation will need to cease because of the risk of creating a hostile work environment.
Listen actively: Show your colleagues that you’re listening to them by mirroring back what you hear them saying. This is especially important for managers to take to heart. Paraphrase what you’re hearing them articulate and ask if you’re accurate.
For instance, you might say, “So Fred, I hear that you’re afraid of the health implications you and your wife may face as a result of this, is that right?” Or “Sarah, you’re reconsidering the idea of relocation to our New Mexico office as a result of the changing legal landscape there, is that right?”
It’s highly unlikely that anything you say is going to make your colleagues' concerns disappear. But that’s not the point of these conversations. The point is to make sure people feel heard and that their thoughts and feelings are validated.
Give people grace, including yourself. If you’re not operating at your best right now, understand that it’s because you’re a human being. Triggering news cycles impact our ability to focus and be productive - and that’s ok. We’re not robots, so to expect perfection from yourself and others at all times can backfire. By creating psychological safety for yourself and your colleagues in these trying times, you’ll actually increase trust, engagement, and retention. In other words: making it okay to not be okay all the time, is not only the right thing to do, it’s also good for business.
2. Engage your allies
Talk to men about this. Why do so many men skirt the issue of abortion rights? This isn’t a conversation - or a burden - for women to carry alone. Men need to be part of the larger conversation and be a partner in dismantling the belief that reproductive rights are simply a woman’s issue. After all, 1 in 5 men have been involved in an abortion, which makes sense if you think about it, as men are usually involved in getting pregnant in the first place.
So the ramifications of this ruling also impact the mental, physical, and financial support of men. And historically, there hasn’t been a lot of space for men to talk about their feelings when it comes how abortion has impacted them directly.
Invite men into the dialogue as allies. Encourage the men at your workplace to step up and become allies by amplifying the voices of women, the experiences they’ve had, and being vocal advocates to help create change.
If men who sit in positions of power can make decisions about a woman’s right to choose or about how our workplaces treat people, then the men who align with us on this issue must be willing to defend our rights as women.
This cannot be seen as a “women’s issue.” And by enlisting men in the dialogue, it won’t be. Dr. Brian Nguyen, professor of OB-GYN at USC was recently interviewed by NPR speaking about how to get beyond this “us versus them” narrative when it comes to men and women’s experience around abortion. He said, “To me, what men need to be risking is their own comfort of having to grapple with an issue that women are forced to do biologically.”
3. Organize and advocate for your workplace to take a stand.
Alright, so you’ve started having these courageous conversations at work, you’ve engaged your allies in these discussions: now what? How can you turn conversation into action?
This is where the organizer in me comes out: let’s talk about how you can bring colleagues together to take collective action. And remember: coming together to discuss the conditions of your workplace is a protected right. The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 protects your right to discuss the conditions of your employment, including issues related to safety and pay, even when you're not protected by a union.
When coming together with colleagues, do so with the intention of discussing the conditions of your particular workplace as it relates to helping all employees feel safe. That might look like making a list of ways your HR team can support workers who need access to safe abortion care, like Tesla, who recently announced that they’ll cover travel-related expenses for employees who are forced to go out of state to have an abortion. Similarly, Dicks Sporting Goods CEO Lauren Hobart, was one of the first to announce publicly a stipend that they’re making available for covering the costs associated with accessing abortion care.
Think about what particular ramifications your team members may face as a result of this decision. For example, Lyft and Uber drivers in some states now face the risk of being criminally charged for aiding and abetting a pregnant person’s choice to seek an abortion across state lines, so both companies recently announced that they are prepared to cover any necessary legal defense costs.
When coming together with colleagues, turn your concerns into demands and write them down, as a starting point. Consider collectively constructing an open letter to management and shopping it around for signatures from a wide array of colleagues.
And remember, this kind of “concerted activity” is a protected right, so long as you focus on work-related issues that concern your working conditions, benefits, or bringing group complaints to the employer’s attention. If your workplace responds to these efforts by penalizing you, or disciplining you in any way, document it diligently and call a labor attorney.
4. If you’re in a state that’s criminalized abortion, take precaution.
If you’re in one of the states that had trigger laws on the books that immediately criminalized abortion upon the overturning of Roe v. Wade, you need to be careful about protecting yourself.
As sad and angry as I am having this conversation with you, I want you to be safe and know there are resources available to you:
Protect your digital security: It’s no longer wise to text or email about your reproductive health or about reproductive health activism, so get used to picking up the phone instead. It's very possible that the impacted states will take advantage of digital surveillance to track reproductive justice activity, so you’ll want to be extra careful about what you’re sharing online, and how you’re protecting your privacy. Check out these data privacy guidelines from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit founded in 1990 dedicated to ensuring the freedom of technology, for more details.
Stop tracking your period in apps: The Washington Post reports that trusting any app with sensitive medical information is a risk, especially if it’s not covered by HIPAA requirements. Since each period-tracking app follows different privacy practices, it’s recommended that in order to eliminate the possibility of your personal health data being used against you in a criminal case related to abortion, delete period tracking apps off your phone and track in written format instead.
Be prepared when it comes to contraception: Currently, no state has banned birth control. But legal analysts say that overturning Roe v. Wade could open up the door for further restrictions. So you may want to consider obtaining your preferred forms of birth control in advance as needed.
Know what abortion funds are available: Nationwide networks of abortion funds are available (and could use your donation!) to support women seeking abortions with financial and logistical support. Call: (855) 518-4603 to learn more.
WE’RE NOT GOING BACK
I know that this sounds scary and that none of us thought we would ever be here in our lifetime because the feminists who came before us fought hard for this stuff. And yet, here we are.
We have a choice. We can either allow the scary, somewhat dystopian future that we are being presented with to terrify us into submission, or we can allow this moment to be a catalyst, a wake-up call that a lot of us needed - myself included.
It’s time to get louder, to get more involved, and to get way less apologetic and more outspoken when it comes to advocating for the fundamental human rights that women need, including the right to be the boss of our own bodies and to have a kind of autonomy to determine how our lives will roll out before us.
So now I am asking you to use this terrible time that we find ourselves in as a starting block for becoming a much more vocal activist when it comes to women's rights and - especially for people who can get pregnant, reproductive care.
Please share this blog far and wide for the women in your world who are wondering how to begin having conversations with courage, because we need that more than ever.
