What to Say at Work When You Truly Don’t Know
Episode 517 | Author: Emilie Aries
Three go-to phrases to help you bridge—not bluff—your way through hard workplace questions.
When you’re hit with a daunting question in a meeting, how do you respond? In this common situation, it’s totally normal to panic, sweat, and blurt out an uninformed answer just to avoid the awkward silence. But there’s a better way!
It turns out that pausing before answering does more than just give you a chance to gather your thoughts. A recent MIT study examined executive pitches presented to venture capitalists. The result? Speakers with pitches containing four or more well-placed pauses saw higher investment and were perceived as more confident.
When a pause isn’t enough and you still need a response that sounds better than, “I don’t know,” here are three simple phrases you can utilize to stay honest while upholding your confidence and competence.
When you need to look into things further before answering
“That’s a great question, and I want to make sure I get you accurate information. Can I follow up this afternoon?”
Rather than rambling, guessing, or apologizing, this response is honest while preserving your leadership presence. It also clarifies your intent—to uphold a commitment to accuracy—and provides a firm deadline for your follow-up. Trust me, it’s always better to pivot with grace than to blurt out an answer off the cuff and be forced to email your boss later to correct your mistake.
When you only know part of the answer
“Here’s what I do know, and here’s what I’ll confirm...”
Let’s say the question is a wide-ranging one requesting the timeline of a current project as well as budget projections. If you are able to speak to the first half, do that! By adding the caveat that you need to confirm the rest, you’re acknowledging that when you circle back, you might have to adjust your facts. You aren’t overpromising—or bluffing your way through. In fact, you’re all set up to overdeliver with precision once you’ve had a chance to confirm the details.
When it’s outside your area of expertise
“Let’s loop in [person who knows the answer]; they’re best positioned to weigh in.”
Your job isn’t to know everything, but it's important to be able to find out. So even when you’re drawing blanks, chances are you know who has the answers. This response checks a bunch of impressive leadership boxes: it shows you’re a connector and collaborator, it deflects without deflating your authority, and it highlights your resourcefulness.
Remember: whichever phrase you choose, or if you come up with one of your own, tone is key. Your bridging response needs to be delivered with confidence, not as an apology. You’re still offering value, even when it’s not instantaneous. And not knowing everything doesn’t make you incompetent—it makes you human.
Are you or a friend preparing for a big presentation or meeting? Share this episode and give these tips a try, then drop me a DM to let me know how it goes! What did you feel? What was the response? You can always weigh in through the Courage Community on Facebook or join us in our group on LinkedIn, too.
And if the idea of pausing and bridging still makes you nauseous, be sure to put your name on the waitlist for the next SPEAK UP cohort!
Related Links From Today’s Episode:
SPEAK UP: an assertive communication course for women in the workplace
“Why You Should Pause During Presentations & 7 Ways to Master It”
Episode 417, The Truth About Women’s Communication at Work
Episode 419, I Was Called “Aggressive” at Work…Now What?
Episode 490, How Do We Unlearn Silence and Voice Our Worth?
Build your boss-level skill set with SPEAK UP:
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EMILIE: Hey and welcome to the Bossed Up podcast, episode 517. I'm your host, Emilie Aries, the Founder and CEO of Bossed Up. Now I want you to imagine that you are in a meeting with senior leadership at work.
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Someone asks you a tough question and your brain goes totally blank, what do you say next? Have no fear if your palms are already sweating a little bit, if your heart is beating out of your chest. This is a wildly common scenario and today I'm sharing three phrases that will help you navigate this kind of a scenario with confidence and credibility, even when you truly don't know the answer.
This episode was inspired by a recent speaking event I conducted at a global health foundation you all have heard of before with an incredible high achieving, hard working team of finance professionals. Thanks to longtime Bossed Up community member and listener Lindsey. Shout out to Lindsey, who might be listening to this episode right now, hopefully for bringing us together. A few years back, Lindsey took part in our Speak Up program, my eight week confident communication accelerator focused on assertive communication. Which, by the way, you can still sign up for the wait list for to let me know if you think we should bring it back. It's been a hot minute since we ran a Speak Up program, but sign up for the wait list to let me know if you're interested and we'll bring it back again soon. You can learn more at bossedup.org/speakup.
First, I want to normalize the fact that this happens to everyone. No matter how smart you are, no matter how hard you work, there will always be questions that catch you off guard. Not knowing something in response to a tough question doesn't make you less competent, it makes you human. The skill in that moment is not having all the answers and being 100% prepared all the time. The skill is handling those situations with grace in a way that preserves your credibility and your personal brand reputation, even under pressure. So let's break down three phrases you can turn to to do just that.
The first is this. That's a great question and I want to make sure that I get you accurate information. Can I follow up this afternoon? What I love about this is that it's thoughtful, it's candid, right? You're not bluffing. It's accountable. You're telling them exactly when you'll follow up with the information. And you're not rambling or over apologizing or just guessing even. You're clarifying your intent, which is to be precise and accurate. And in a lot of highly technical workplaces precision matters. You don't want to bluff your way through the answer.
In fact, this came up on a recent call with that very group that I was working with. After our in person engagement, I did like an accountability call with their team a month out to see how all the tactics and tools that we worked on were being integrated into their day to day. And one member of the team spoke up and said, you know, being able to pivot with grace is so much better than having to basically give my best shot at an answer and then later that afternoon have to email the group or the senior leader who I gave that answer to and say, actually I was wrong in that moment when I gave you that number, it’s this instead. Like, save your future self the embarrassment of having to correct the record by not bluffing by, but bridging under pressure to what you do know or what you can deliver and when you can deliver it.
So if you can include specificity about the timeliness of your follow up. It drives me absolutely crazy when someone says they'll get back to me soon on something like what kind of an expectation are you setting in that moment? Not a very clear one. So tell me when you'll have the information. Don't tell me the information you don't yet have. If it's this afternoon, great. If it's tomorrow, fine. If it's next week, so be it. But be specific so that you can set an expectation that you can then not only achieve, but hopefully overachieve or over deliver on.
Let's talk through more phrases you can turn to in these tough moments. Phrase number two, here's what I do know and here's what I'll confirm. I love that framing because it centers you on what you can offer, even if it's not a direct answer to the question that was asked. And it enables you to say here's what I think, but don't know and will have to confirm. So if they're asking for a number you don't yet have or a recommendation you're not yet ready to wholeheartedly endorse, you can still give your take with the asterisk that I need to confirm this, but here's what I would say is my best guess. And you're, you're framing it appropriately. You're not using that as like a qualifier because you're not defaulting to discrediting your idea. You're giving important context, which is I need to confirm this, but here's my best guess.
So let's break down a quick example of here's what I do know and here's what I'll confirm. When asked about the progress on a certain project and how you're doing, how performance and milestones are being met, and how on budget or on track and on timeline you are, you might say this, while I can speak to the project timeline now, I'll need to confirm budget numbers with finance first. That way you can give an explanation as to what you can speak to with confidence, the timeline, the measurable deliverables. But if you're going to want specificity on budget and how over or under budget we are, I'm not going to bluff my way through that, I need to talk to finance.
Which actually brings me to phrase number three, which can be such a helpful tactic in these moments. When asked a question you don't have the answer to and you know that someone else who's not in the room probably does have the answer to it and you will want to confer with them, another phrase you can turn to in this moment is this. Let's loop in blank, blank being the person or team who you want to confer with, they're best positioned to weigh in.
What I love about this response is it shows that you're a connector, that you're a collaborator, and it deflects without deflating your authority, right? You're saying, look, I don't know this. I'm not going to pretend like I do. And I'm also not the expert in this particular arena, but I'm still maintaining my expertise, which is I know who to turn to. I know how to be resourceful, I know how to tap other stakeholders to get you the right answer that you need.
The key with all of this is to say these things with confidence, not as an apology, right? Don't feel like this is a failure you have to fess up to, but rather acknowledge that this is part of being a good professional. It's bringing in the right voices at the right time for the right information. All of these phrases are examples of practicing bridging, not bluffing your way or blustering your way to give a made up answer. Bridging is all about acknowledging the question while pivoting to what you do know. Yes, this is an important question. I don't have the answer to exactly what you're asking for, but here's what I can say. Bridging phrases might sound just like that. What I can say is, or here's where we are aligned so far, or what's most important for us to focus on today is, right? Those are kind of the bridging phrases you'll hear when someone is pivoting from the question that was asked to what they do know, which might not be the exact answer to the question, but it is helpful information that can move the conversation forward.
I know this can feel kind of disingenuous to some people, but what you're doing here is you're still offering value. I'm not saying you should bridge just to bridge or you should not answer someone's question just to be evasive, but if you truly don't know the answer, you don't have to give nothing as a non-answer, right? You can give something, focus on what you can say, what you do have to offer, and what value you can bring to the conversation while acknowledging how you will go and find the answer to the question at hand.
If bridging requires you to pause, to take a beat, to actually breathe and take a moment to think before you answer a question, and that alone gives you anxiety, just know that studies show again and again that the speakers who use pause, as I like to call it, the power of the pause, are perceived as more thoughtful, competent and persuasive. As recently as this year, a study at MIT looked at hundreds of executive presentations and found that pitches that included four or more well placed pauses saw higher investment rates from investors. So these were venture capital pitches. Those who pitched with more pauses that were well placed in their speeches got better results.
You know, obviously there are other decisions that go into making an investment or not. But in the study they also asked those folks who were rating the pitches about how confident they perceived those making the pitches and the link between pausing, like embracing the power of the pause, and perceived competence were consistent. So, people who use pause and embrace pause in professional speech are seen as more powerful and competent. So don't think you need to rush to an answer or an apology for not having the answer, or that you have to speak really fast and fill the void. Like, give yourself a second to think, bridge to what you have to offer and use some of these bridging phrases to help you get there.
I'm really curious to hear how this works for you. So try some of these phrases out this week, especially in high stakes meetings, and just watch how it shifts the response that you get. As always, I'd love to hear from you after the episode. Let me know how this lands with you. Let me know if you give it a try what the response is like and if you want to work more on becoming a concise, confident, cogent communicator, sign up for the waitlist for our next Speak Up cohort at bossedup.org/speak up.
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As always, the conversation continues after each episode in the Bossed Up Courage Community on Facebook or in the Bossed Up Group on LinkedIn. And until next time, let's keep bossin’ in pursuit of our purpose, and together let's lift as we climb.
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