How to Stand Out in a Competitive Job Market

Episode 500 | Host: Emilie Aries | Guest: Dr. Kyle Elliott

What are you doing to optimize the parts of your job search that you can actually control?

Searching for work has never been particularly fun, but the job market these days is truly daunting. What’s a job seeker to do in this exhausting, uncertain economic environment?

Luckily, we have outstanding career coaches like Dr. Kyle Elliott to turn to in these unsettling times. Kyle is a career and mental health expert whose deep coaching approach helps people get unstuck, “own their fabulousness,” and elevate their careers. In this episode, he shares some of his favorite tactics and strategies for focusing on what you can control during this tumultuous time, so you can propel yourself into the next job opportunity. 

What’s it like out there right now?

In his work with clients, Kyle is definitely seeing evidence of a downturn in the job market that is pretty upsetting. A lot of people are looking for jobs for the first time in five or ten years. In those days of yore, they applied for three jobs and landed two offers. Today, they’re shaken by a stark new reality: a hundred applications could result in two or three preliminary interviews.

This, unfortunately, is the new normal, and Kyle advocates for skipping straight to acknowledgement and action: yes, the job market sucks right now. We can’t magically create more jobs, so what can we do?

What’s happening to the jobs?

A lot is changing in the corporate world, and these changes often manifest as layoffs. The ever-growing global nature of business means entry- and mid-level roles are now frequently outsourced; many managers learn that, since their work can be divided between a few people in lower-cost-of-living regions for a grand total less than their salary, they’re out of a job. At the same time, seemingly daily advancements in AI mean administrative and lower-level management roles are being automated at an unprecedented rate.

Then, there’s restructuring. In tech, where Kyle focuses his work, companies are drilling down on their hierarchies and removing layers, which results in workforce reductions. It also means all those newly jobless pros are vying for the same dwindling supply of positions. 

This “white collar recession” is particularly impacting the professional sector, too. One in four Americans who lost their jobs last year work in the professional and business services sector. A Bureau of Labor Statistics chart shows that in September last year, this sector saw more layoffs and reductions of force than any other, and Kyle fears this trend is just getting started.

So, what can we do about it?

Kyle‘s trauma-informed approach to career coaching encourages clients who were recently let go to avoid minimizing the impact of such a significant life event. Like a death or the end of a relationship, this experience calls for time to grieve and seek support from those close to us. Certainly, we have bills to pay and mouths to feed, and many people don’t have the luxury to take time off to fully process, but recovering from a job loss isn’t an overnight thing. You’re entitled to take a beat. 

When you’re ready, head into the job search in a focused and mindful manner. I talk a bit about this in my episodes on part-time and full-time job searching, and Kyle’s take is similar. Rather than applying to every job that you could conceivably do, apply to fewer roles and really give those applications your all. Kyle also suggests focusing on the most realistic prospects—the industries you already have experience in.

An acquaintance recently reported that he got a job with a very “unsexy” company, and that approach can serve you well, too. If you apply to household names like Google or Amazon, you know you’ll be up against thousands of other applicants. If, however, you apply to companies no one has ever heard of, you might be up against 20. Apply for just 20 such jobs (rather than thousands of the others), and you’ve bent the odds drastically in your favor.

Tailoring your resume and cover letter

To get yourself to the top of the pile, Kyle suggests setting a 20-minute timer when it comes to tweaking your resume to match the specific requirements of the job you’re applying for. If it takes you more than 40 minutes of painstaking adjustments, he says, you probably aren’t as good a fit as you thought. 

Also, keep in mind that not all hiring managers fully understand the jobs they’re hiring for. That means if you have the skills the job description is asking for, you need to be crystal clear. This isn’t an essay—plagiarize away! Kyle strongly recommends pulling the terminology straight from the description. Write it in all caps, then detail your specific experience in that area. That way, a quick scan—which is all those busy recruiters have time for as they comb through hundreds of applicants—will make those key terms pop. 

It was validating to hear Kyle echo my own recommendation of using bullet points in your cover letters! He, too, advocates for including three bullets that share what truly sets you apart from other candidates. In this saturated job market, it’s not enough to be qualified—you need to highlight your unique fabulousness.

Keep working your network

Don’t think of it as networking; think of it as building relationships. Kyle suggests that, rather than reaching out cold to random people at a company you’re interested in, set yourself a goal of messaging five existing connections a day who work in that industry or with those organizations. 

If you feel like you’re pestering them, take an inventory of the messages you’ve received recently. Which features made you want to respond and which had you leaving the sender on read? Think of each message as planting a seed—it might not bloom instantly into something useful, but those roots are working beneath the surface.

Kyle leaves job seekers with a reminder to try to stay hopeful. It’s a slog out there, but you don’t have to go it alone. Get a support system, be intentional, and focus on what you can control.

Are you currently navigating this hyper-competitive job market? What steps are you taking, and what’s working (or decidedly not working) for you? And if you just nabbed your new role, I want to hear about your process! Share your story by emailing me at Emilie@bossedup.org or visiting our Courage Community on Facebook or our group on LinkedIn.

Related links from today’s episode:

S&P Global, Layoffs surge in US white collar jobs as rates, AI alter office work

Business Insider, Americans with a college degree say they'd need at least a $100K salary to change jobs. But roles that pay in that range are getting harder to find

Reuters, US job openings decline as labor market steadily slows

Episode 453, Prioritizing Your Job Search While Holding Down a Full-Time Job

Episode 452, Redefining Success: Women and the Fight for a Fair Economy

Episode 455, How to Create a Sustainable Job Search Schedule When You’re Unemployed

Episode 449, Your Cover Letter is Better With Bullet Points

Kyle Elliott Consulting

Connect with Kyle on LinkedIn

HIRED: A Job Search Accelerator to Land Your Dream Job

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Bossed Up LinkedIn Group

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  • [INTRO MUSIC IN]

    EMILIE: Hey, and welcome to the Bossed Up podcast, episode 500. Woohoo. [SFX CHEERING] Thank you for everyone who's been a loyal listener since the very start. I cannot believe we're 500 episodes in. And I'm happy to report that today's episode is worthy of this milestone. I sat down with Dr. Kyle Elliott, the Founder and tech career coach behind CaffeinatedKyle.com for a dynamic conversation all about how to stand out in a competitive job market. Anyone who's on the job search now knows it is pretty tough out there. And Kyle and I break down some tactics and strategies that you can employ right away to navigate this uncertain time with a focus on what you can control and some tactics and strategies that can help you propel yourself forward into the next opportunity that's right for you.

    But first, a little background on Dr. Kyle Elliott. He harnesses the power of deep coaching to help his clients get unstuck, own their fabulousness, and take their careers to new heights. A trusted expert in careers and mental health, Dr. Elliott's words have been featured in Business Insider, CNBC, CBS, CNN, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, Forbes, Fortune, Harvard Business Review, the New York Times, and many other leading publications. He regularly presents to Fortune 100 companies, hypergrowth startups, and universities on mental health in the workplace, professional development, personal branding and diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. 

    Dr. Elliott's actively involved in the coaching industry and has served as an executive board member for the Gay Coaches alliance and as an ardent leader, Dr. Elliott holds a Doctor of Education, Master of Public Administration, and Bachelor of Science in Health Education degrees. He also possesses a constantly growing list of advanced training and certifications that you won't find in any other coach, as well as a repertoire of cutting edge assessments and inventories. And finally, while Dr. Elliott has received national and international recognition and awards for his work, he's most proud of being dubbed Mr. Loquacious by his fifth grade teacher.

    Well, Dr. Kyle Elliott, welcome to the Bossed Up podcast. Happy to have you here.

    DR. KYLE: Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here and be speaking with you again. It's been a while since we've been on a podcast together.

    EMILIE: It has, yeah. I think it was 2020 when we first worked together, right?

    DR. KYLE: Yes, it was. I think it was like, right at the beginning of the pandemic.

    EMILIE: Well, things have gotten crazy again, haven't they?

    DR. KYLE: They have. It is a wild time. And it's just gotten more wild, and more different, and more challenging.

    EMILIE: I mean, has anything ever normalized since 2020? I don't think so really, I don't think so.

    DR. KYLE: I think it's just a constant change, A new initiative, just trying to stay sane through all of it.

    EMILIE: Yeah. It seems like an overstatement to even call this a new normal. It's just a, adjusting to the constant weirdness of the job market and the world around us, isn't it?

    DR. KYLE: Yeah. I find when I text my friends or my parents, they're like, is this real? No, this is real. It's not the onion. And it's like trying to figure out, are we playing jokes on each other or is this just like real life? And it's real life.

    EMILIE: If it were a joke, this would be a very mean joke. Cruel joke.

    DR. KYLE: Yes. 

    EMILIE: So I have heard from so many job seekers. I know you work with job seekers every day. A lot of women listening to this podcast might be in the job market right now or have been recently. How would you just overall characterize the experience of being a job seeker today?

    DR. KYLE: Tough. It is tough. It's challenging. It can feel overwhelming. Oftentimes when people speak with me, it's been maybe five or ten years since they looked for a job. And someone yesterday said, last time I looked for a job, I applied for three and got two offers.

    EMILIE: Wow.

    DR. KYLE: And now you apply for a hundred and maybe get one or two interviews. So it's a lot more intimidating, it's daunting, it's frustrating, overwhelming. So if you're feeling any of that, it's the new normal in regard to the job search.

    EMILIE: Yeah. And it's such a good level set to make sure people know it's not about you. That is not a personal failing. If you're experiencing that level of frustration and delay and uncertainty, that is a systemic reality, right?

    DR. KYLE: Exactly. And then I always like saying, this is the reality. Let's honor and acknowledge it. And then what can we do in your situation to address that that's within our control? I wish I could wave a magic wand and create more jobs or make it easier. I can't. So what can we do or control?

    EMILIE: I think that makes a lot of sense. I'm excited to dig into those tactical strategies too. One thing before we go there I want to acknowledge is the experience of the white collar worker. There's been a lot of ink spilled recently dubbing this time period that we find ourselves in, which is the end of Q1 right now of 2025, as we're recording this as being in the midst of a white collar recession. A lot of women listening to this would probably qualify as being in the professional services sector, being white collar. 

    And I just want to call out that this is a different nature than sort of other sectors of the workforce, including some test sectors that are growing, like healthcare. But according to some interesting new research I stumbled upon, one in every four American workers who've lost their jobs in 2024 worked in professional and business services. A sign that, quote, the white collar labor market may be straining under the weight of high interest rates and technological advances that may be already making some workers obsolete. You work in tech in particular, how is this showing up in your client base?

    DR. KYLE: A lot of entry level roles, mid-level roles, are getting outsourced or they're getting automated or what's happening, one of my clients recently was a manager and they said, hey, we can hire five or six people for this role in a lower cost of living area or in another country. So it's really frustrating for them. He said, I'm grateful five or six people are going to have a job now, and now my job is gone. Or some of them are just getting automated. Their jobs are getting taken away from automation. It's creating new jobs, but that job is also getting taken away. 

    My dad delivers linens for a living, so he's very thankful that his job can never get automated. Or at least in the next 10 or 20 years until a robot comes along. I've seen some images of robots like that, but at least in the next 10 or 20 years until he retires, it's not going to get automated. But these other jobs that are more administrative in nature, lower level management nature, they're getting automated.

    EMILIE: Yeah. And I've even felt that management and leadership positions feel fewer and farther between, right? Like some of my job search clients as they become more advanced in their careers. There's just the nature of hierarchies is such that, there are fewer of those opportunities available. So, you know, whether we're talking about AI, the big word around job search and automation and how AI is coming for all of us, or we're talking about even the soft skills and leadership skills involved in management, it does seem like there's a real strain in that market, isn't there?

    DR. KYLE: Yes. And a lot of these companies, I work mostly with folks in tech, they're removing these layers as well. They're saying, we have a lot of layers here, let's remove some of them. So it's resulting in layoffs or reductions in force. And then when people go look for a job, they're saying, oh my level. There aren't as many jobs out there and there's more people applying for them.

    EMILIE: Yeah, it's pretty competitive, isn't it? I found one other chart from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Pretty alarming. I'm going to include in our blog post today that shows professional and business services had the most layoffs and discharges, whatever you want to call that, right? Reductions of force in September than any other sector. So we are seeing like this white collar recession that frankly I think has been bubbling beneath the surface for a while now. Kind of hopefully hit it’s peak. Do you think we're at the peak or do you think we're just getting started? I know you don't have a crystal ball, but. And you're no economist, but I'm curious what you make of it.

    DR. KYLE: I think we're just getting started. I do think it's going to change. I think it's creating more jobs as well. And the jobs are different. It's going to be more the management of these programs and processes, the management of AI, so AI engineers, program managers, more of those people skills. So I think it's not exactly the jobs are being lost, or they might be lost now, but then it's going to create different or new jobs in the future. And it's just going to take some time for these companies to catch up. 

    Often companies that are publicly traded, they're focused on those shareholders. So in the immediate term they're going to be cutting, cutting, cutting. And then in a few months they're going to say, okay, what jobs can we create now to drive growth?

    EMILIE: Yeah. Regardless of the human impact, unfortunately.

    DR. KYLE: Exactly.

    EMILIE: Yeah. I had a recent interview come out maybe six months ago now with June Carbone on episode 452 all about Redefining Success: Women And The Fight For A Fair Economy. And we were kind of lamenting how prioritizing shareholder value results in short term business planning, right? Quarterly profits, quarterly numbers, becoming the priority over the long term vision. And that can really put people on the chopping block, only to be re-hired three, six, nine months later. And the human experience of that is devastating oftentimes. So, how do people navigating that business reality like reset our expectations around our careers and our job security?

    DR. KYLE: I am a trauma informed coach, so I encourage people to look at it like a trauma or a loss. Oftentimes when we have a death in the family or a divorce or any other type of loss, we spend time grieving. We reach out for community and support. We take care of ourselves when it's a job loss the next day or the same day people are looking for a new job. They don't even give themselves time to grieve and mourn. 

    So I encourage people to treat it like any other loss and then realize the power imbalance as well. We're in this capitalist society. Someone's paying you, you're reaching out. Yes, there is this exchange of labor for money, but it's a very interesting dynamic there. And to realize it's a traumatic event you went through and it's going to take time to heal can be empowering for people to realize, oh, this is really challenging. Let me give myself some grace and some compassion.

    EMILIE: Yeah. And I think the reaction that over-functioners like myself have in the face of trauma and loss is to do as much as we possibly can. Because maybe if I throw everything against the wall, something is bound to stick. And maybe if I apply to everything, you know, I will feel like I'm moving forward, when in fact that doesn't necessarily work, does it?

    DR. KYLE: No. And it can feel helpful. Exactly. I'm a very type A, recovering perfectionist, a Virgo. So I want to do all those things. And sometimes that's not the best thing to be doing. Sometimes the best thing is to recover, to take time for yourself, to be spending time with family, to mourn, grieve, whatever you want to call it. And balancing that with the reality that a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck and they need that salary and they don't have the luxury to take six months off or a year off. So balancing that as well and recognizing that you do have to make that living too.

    EMILIE: Absolutely. So let's talk tactically what we can control here. You made a great point earlier that look, there are some macroeconomic trends that are working against us right now. But in this volatile, change heavy environment we find ourselves in, what can we control that would enable us to stand out in what is a very competitive job market these days?

    DR. KYLE: One thing I would suggest is even making a list of what you can control. Just a simple T-table can be powerful, especially if you're very action orient oriented. One action I would suggest is writing down, saying what's in my control here, my resume, applying for jobs, networking, figuring out what's unique about me and we can break all those down, and then saying what's not in my control. Maybe the current administration, maybe the economy, the number of jobs that are open directly, I'm not going to be able to control those. So writing all that out can be powerful and then saying, okay, yes, I'm able to vent for a little bit, and then it's not within my control. Here's the things in my control, and just writing those out can be really helpful as you dive into this job search.

    EMILIE: I'm thinking about as a fellow type A Virgo, how much I struggled with words like surrender and release and relinquishing of control, which for me became very present in my motherhood journey and continues to be a lesson I learn over and over again as a parent. There's so little that's within my control., right? Truly. And I remember just reading about surrendering, being essential to pregnancy and motherhood and being like, that's not for me. And this sounds like one of those challenges as well to job seekers. Like, look, name it and then release it so that you can surrender to the process a little bit and focus on what is within our locus of control. 

    So when you've identified those elements that are within your control, where do you see people maybe overlooking the areas that they have more agency than they might be aware of?

    DR. KYLE: What you mentioned earlier, just applying to a ton of roles, it makes so much sense logically to apply to every role out there. I suggest people apply to fewer roles and really be mindful with it. So if we think of marketing, for example, you could just market to everyone and have a billboard out there that works for some types of companies. For individuals, you're one person. You only have so much effort. So I'd suggest treating it. If someone's in sales or marketing, they'll understand this analogy, kind of like major accounts or logos. Instead of saying, I'm going to target hundreds of companies. Do you have 10 or 20 companies that I'm really interested in? Focusing your efforts there, you're going to be a lot more successful. So instead of saying, oh, I have to apply to all these roles, you can dedicate more focused energy and effort to these companies. 

    And when we're in a saturated job market like this, we have to be really realistic. I work with tech folks and everyone says the same, same companies. Meta, Google, Apple, Nvidia. If you've never worked in tech, that might be a few of the companies in your target company list. And those might not be the most realistic right now to target when you have other people competing for those roles. So maybe have some more realistic companies on that list as well.

    EMILIE: Yeah, embracing the unsexy company is a really brilliant thing to do right now. A friend of mine was job searching for over a year and he was a director level data scientist who was sort of shocked at how long it took him to land his next role. And I had to keep reminding him, this is not you, this is just the nature of the beast these days. But he felt so frustrated because he kept getting to the final stages of interviews only to be passed up as like their number two choice, which is exhausting and exasperating. 

    And when he finally did land a role that he's really excited about and happy with, he said, look, the only downside is it's not a company you've ever heard of and it won't ever be a company you've ever heard of. And that's okay. He got his director level title, he got his pay that he was looking for, and he's working for an unsexy company. And I think that is like a brilliant strategy, quite frankly.

    DR. KYLE: I love that because then if you're applying to Google, there's going to be a thousand, five thousand people applying this unsexy company, maybe 20 people apply. So your chance is one out of 20 instead one out of a thousand. And if you apply to 20 of those one out of 20 companies, there's your job instead of having to apply to a thousand to have a one out of a thousand chance. So I love, I've never heard the unsexy description. I love that.

    EMILIE: Well, I just think it's like the math of the job search, like the basic odds and probability calculations is a really smart place to start. I love what you said earlier too, just about being targeted in your approach, because the buckshot approach of applying to everything seems like it's in your own best interest when we know it's really not. There is a leap of faith involved in that though that can be pretty scary for some folks. I recently overheard on my team, which is hiring for two open positions right now, the hiring managers said this and I thought this was so telling. They said, oh, well, this candidate applied for both roles. And one role is more focused on the learning management system. This other role is more focused on the change management aspect of what we do. And it's kind of like they just tailored their experience to both roles and put themselves forward for both. And to the hiring manager, she went, that's a red flag for me because they're just flexing and becoming a chameleon and I don't trust that. And it led them to declining moving forward on both positions, 

    DR. KYLE: Both! 

    EMILIE: When the person who was applying probably thought I just doubled my odds of getting an interview.

    DR. KYLE: That's a Thing.

    EMILIE: That is a thing, right? And I'm wondering, what would you say to the person who says, well, sure, I'm tailoring my resume. I'm applying to both positions because more equals more odds, right?

    DR. KYLE: Are you really tailoring it? That would be my first question. I often have people pull up their resume. Have them then pull up the job description. If you're watching this, I would put it side by side. I get a timer for those not watching. If they're just listening, I set a timer for 20 minutes and I say, let's go through and actually customize your resume and make it stupid easy for that recruiter to say yes. 

    And I'll say, one of my clients recently was going for a data engineering role and I typed data engineering. That phrase wasn't on their resume. And they said, it's really obvious. And I said, that might be for you, but if that recruiter is not familiar with data engineering, they're going to skip and say, this person hasn't been a data engineer. So going through and using their language, you're not going to be doing turnitin like in college where you're like, oh, I don't want to plagiarize. I would plagiarize. Use their job posting and pull the language in. And you don't want to take the whole entire job description and use white text. I've seen that advice going around. However, you can go through and use some of the language and copy it and say you're looking for a data engineer, here it is. I often encourage people at the beginning of every bullet to put in all caps a keyword. 

    So if they say data engineer is a skill, put data engineer in all caps, colon, have your bullet. If they want team leadership, team leadership, colon, have your bullet and in those 20 minutes, treat it like mad libs and go change your resume really quick for that. But then if you change that for two roles at a company, they're like, wait, we're looking for someone really specific and you're not it.

    EMILIE: Right, absolutely. I do like that advice though. It's sort of like 20 minutes seems like a big investment of time to slow down. But I'm a huge believer in the long tail ROI of that 20 minutes. It's not actually that much to invest and it should be the minimum that you're doing to tailor your resume to each application, right?

    DR. KYLE: And I find applicants are either on one end or the other. They're not spending any time, the same resume for everything. Or they spend eight hours. And eight hours is too much. If you've spent eight hours customizing it, this is not the role for you. It is too far off. And that's how you know it's too much of a stretch. 

    So if it takes you more than 20 minutes or maybe 30 or 40, you can use the timer twice. But if it takes more than 40 minutes even to customize it, this role's too far off. You don't have the right skills and qualifications if you have to rewrite the whole thing.

    EMILIE: I think that's a great point. So you're saying copy and paste within reason…

    DR. KYLE: Within reason.

    EMILIE: …as long as you're characterizing your experience accurately, use their language to do so.

    DR. KYLE: Yeah, because they might use a different phrase. My partner just got a new job, which is very exciting, and his role was, I think, philanthropy, and the role was fundraising, which is the same thing, pretty much, for all intents and purposes, but we just went through and changed. It took us like eight minutes to customize his resume. And they said, oh, my gosh, this is such a tailored resume. Thank you.

    EMILIE: [LAUGHTER] It better be. If he's your partner, great.

    DR. KYLE: I wrote it. And going through and just tailoring those words can be really powerful. So then they say, wow, this is really tailored. Even at the top of the resume, if you're applying for, let's say, a program manager role for customer success, put target role, program manager, customer success at the top, to really show that you're perfect for that role, that you're spending the time applying. And yes, it is a little bit of an investment, but if you double, triple, quadruple your response rate, it's worth that 20 minutes.

    EMILIE: Absolutely. And people want to hire people who want the job. So I think, being really explicit that I am looking for a job like this, I am open to possibilities like yours, regardless of how true that might be. Like, if it's not your dream job, that's okay. They should feel like it's your dream job, right? And it should be pretty obvious on your resume. Like, I love a career summary at the top. Here's what I'm great at. Here's what I'm looking for. And that second sentence of here's what I'm looking for better lead them to the conclusion that you're looking for them. [LAUGHTER]

    DR. KYLE: Yeah, it needs to be customized. And that career summary can be something that you quickly change for each job. And it doesn't even have to be everything. It could just be a few keywords. Or let's say you're applying for video game companies and you play their video game. Put that in there. I play this video game. Here's what level I'm at. It can be something really quick that only takes a few minutes to change, but that person reading hundreds of resumes is going to stop and say, oh, they literally mentioned the name of our video game.

    EMILIE: Yeah, make it memorable and make it custom, for sure. I love that. What else is in our locus of control as the job seeker that you see people maybe overlooking.

    DR. KYLE: I call your fabulousness, a lot of people call it your unique value proposition. What sets you apart? So it's not just checking the box because let's say 100 people apply for that role, at least 10 or 20% are going to be really qualified. And just being qualified in a saturated job market isn't enough. Maybe 10 years ago when you applied, being qualified was enough. Right now it's not enough. Your friend, who is this data scientist and someone applies for a role, there's going to be a lot of other data scientists applying. 

    So I would go through your resume and for every bullet for the career summary, say, what's unique about me compared to other people who are qualified? Right now, for example, I have four directors of engineering from Amazon as clients. And they're like, I've worked at Amazon, great, I have three other clients from Amazon. What else? Oh, I've worked at AWS scale, great. My other three clients, clients from Amazon have, what else? So going through and saying, here's what's different about me.

    EMILIE: How do you do what you do too, right? When I, when I hear from folks who are leaders in particular, it's like, okay, here's my technical background. Let's say you're a leader of a marketing team. You know, you know all the latest and greatest marketing technical skills. Great. So does everyone else, right? And then you're a leader. What kind of leader? What kind of engineer? What kind of director? Right? 

    Describing your fabulousness, to use your term, is essential. And people say, well, I can be whatever kind of leader you want me to be. Bulls***. Right? It's like, no, no, no. Whether you're aware of it or not, you might be a servant leader. You might be a really clear visionary leader. You might be a leader who excels in verbal communication and persuasion. Like, figure that out, quite frankly. And a lot of people don't even know and have to maybe do some assessments and do some differentiation training, which I always start with, asking my clients, what makes you different than the worst person you've ever worked with in the same role?

    DR. KYLE: Oh, I love that. And I would suggest not just right, servant leader, but have an example too. A lot of times people just say, well, it says servant leader. Great. What's an example? I think of Judge Judy. If you watch her show, it's now Judy Justice, very creative name. She says, I don't care what you think or feel. I want some evidence or proof. So when I go through resumes, I say, I want some proof that you're a servant leader. I want some proof that you're a great manager. Everyone says that. Where is your proof or your evidence or your citations? If you're an academic background, where is that proof evidence and citations throughout your resume to back up your claims?

    EMILIE: Totally. Show me the behaviors that would lead you to conclude you're a servant leader. Show me the, the stories that you have in your repertoire because you're going to need them at the interview anyway, right?

    DR. KYLE: Exactly.

    EMILIE: Interesting. Let me ask you a question specifically about cover letters, if I may. I think a lot of job seekers feel like a cover letters are hard to write. They're maybe the hardest part of the job search for a lot of more technical folks, especially because you have to become a great writer all of a sudden in a persuasive communicator to write a great cover letter. And they wonder if anyone's even reading their cover letter. Where do you lie in the sort of spectrum of cover letters are a thing of the past versus cover letters are essential and should be included with each application.

    DR. KYLE: It depends. It's going to depend on the role you're going for. And if you're doing a cover letter, I would do a good one. I would do the same thing within that 20 minutes, customize your cover letter within the first line or two. It needs to be really clear that you've spent time customizing it. If you're applying. I love Disneyland. If I'm applying to Disneyland, highlight that I'm a passholder that I propose to my partner there, something really quick in each one. If you're applying to Starbucks, okay, what's your favorite drink there? Mention it. It's things that. It doesn't have to be really cumbersome. 

    And then how I write cover letters is quite different than a lot of people. In the third line, I say, here's what sets me apart from other candidates and give them those three bullets, because that's what the recruiter is trying to figure out. And if you say something servant leadership, then give that example. If you say it's some languages that you know. As a software engineer, give some examples, if it's your way of managing people, give an example. And then those are probably going to stay the same. For each job you apply for, you might have five or six bullets, and then you choose the three most relevant. 

    So I wouldn't spend hours writing it, but instead it be a cover letter where someone's like, oh, this actually adds value. And often recruiters have told my clients, I literally just copied your bullets and sent them to the hiring manager and said, here's why I move forward with this person. Here's what's different about them.

    EMILIE: I have never heard anyone else in our industry say exactly the same thing that I do to all my clients, which is I literally have a podcast episode Kyle called Your Cover Letter Is Better With Bullet Points. And I make this exact argument, like, summarize your differentiators in the top three reasons. And to be clear, for everyone listening, they should be redundant on versus what's on your resume, right? We don't need to have something completely different and original than what's on the resume. We want them to be synchronized, right?

    DR. KYLE: Yeah. And it's just first person. And you can elaborate on them or write a little differently, but it doesn't need to be complex. I don't think it needs to be long either. It can be two or three hundred words. One of my mentors, she said five sentences is her ideal cover letter. Very to the point. Something you could send an email. Simple and to the point. And something that's helpful. And I find that's what's most helpful, is, here's my unique value proposition. Here's my fabulousness.

    EMILIE: I love that! What else have you seen help people stand out from the crowd in a crowded marketplace. And I specifically want your thoughts on leveraging our communities, right? How, how have you seen networking in the 21st century make a difference in the job search? Or does it?

    DR. KYLE: It does. I find networking makes a huge difference. And people are often afraid when they hear networking that they have to go out cold, reach out to people. I think of it. I love the word community that you said, it could also be the same mentor, she calls it relationship searching. What relationships can I go look for instead of looking for a job? Her name is Jill Katz. I'm going to go look for relationships. And what relationships can I find? 

    So I often encourage people, if you treat it like a major, an account, this job, let's say I apply to Google, who are five people at Google I could reach out to. And a lot of people are like, I don't know anyone at Google, I would slow down and go through all your different communities to see, are there actually people you might know? Did you go to school together? Maybe on your PTA, maybe at your Pilates studio? And then, my favorite, a lot of people don't do this, but I would literally just get your phone and go through your contact book, go through your Instagram followers and the people you follow, your Facebook friends, whatever social media platform, and start realizing, okay, where do these people work? 

    And start having conversations. And it's not saying, I want to get a job, because similar to dating, you wouldn't say, I want to date you and get married on the first conversation. You instead say, hey, I want to learn more about your company. And that's where I would start and have that be a metric that's within your control and a metric you track. I often encourage clients every day, apply to one job, reach out to five people, and they're like, oh, that's not a lot. But if you're spending quality, that adds up really quickly. Five people a day, that's 25 a week where you're planting these seeds.

    EMILIE: I love that. And I cannot underscore that importance enough. One of the pieces of feedback I get from clients on occasion is, ooh, I feel like I'm pestering people. What would you say to folks whose mindset is really holding them back from even reaching out to the people who they know who might work at their target company?

    DR. KYLE: I ask them, let's go through some of your LinkedIn messages or some of the text messages you've received. What got you to reply to people? What happened when you didn't reply? Was there something someone said? And they realize as they go through when they knew someone, they replied, or when they customized the message, they replied. Or they're like, anytime someone reached out, I replied. And then they have some evidence right in front of them that they replied. And then sometimes as we do that, they're like, oh, wait, I reached out to someone before, and they replied. So people realize, oh, here's some evidence that people are really helpful.

    EMILIE: Yeah. And most people want to help. Or if they don't, they're just underwater. And it's not about you, right?

    DR. KYLE: Yeah, it's not about you. And that's why I like doing five per company. So then at least one of those five typically will reply. And if you know them, hopefully more than one of the five will reply. But at least one of the five will reply. And then what's within your control is following up. And it can feel like pestering. But I think of it like planting seeds. 

    And often I'll have clients even get a jar or some sort of cup, buy seeds or you can do rocks or paper clips and start putting them in that cup and say, oh my gosh, this is quickly adding up. And with a garden, some of them aren't going to sprout. Other ones will sprout right away in my parents backyard like 20 years later when we moved to the house in like 1999. They still have flowers sprouting from these seeds a long time ago. So some are going to take a while to sprout and to trust and as you said, surrender to that process.

    EMILIE: I love that. What a beautiful metaphor. And maybe getting our hands in the dirt is a good way to spend some time if you're a full time job searcher too, because it can just make you remember that even when you don't see progress. You know, roots are. What's the word? Roots are what? Sprouting? That's not the right word. digging, whatever.

    DR. KYLE: Sprouting? Digging?

    EMILIE: Yes. [LAUGHTER]

    DR. KYLE: Root doing what roots do.

    EMILIE: Yeah. Can you tell I haven't gardened lately?

    DR. KYLE: I don't garden. I have some Lego gardens. I have a bunch of plants. Lego plants for my gardening.

    EMILIE: That's beautiful. Well, Dr. Kyle Elliott, you have shared so much wisdom with us already. What is one piece of advice you want to leave anyone listening right now who's on the job search with. As we sort of wrap this up, Be hopeful.

    DR. KYLE: I know it can be challenging and finding that hope can be really critical. And if you're struggling with it, don't feel like you have to go at it alone. Tap into your community, ask for help. And then with a garden, sometimes there might be weeds there, there might be people who are not as helpful and say, you know what, this advice isn't helpful. Or I appreciate that you keep reaching out, checking in on my job search, I'm going to ask that you don't. So I would really prune your garden and say, okay, who's helpful here? What might I have to add? What might I have to water and what might I have to get rid of or kind of put a pause on?

    EMILIE: I think that makes a lot of sense. Where can our listeners learn more about you and the ways in which you support job seekers?

    DR. KYLE: Yes, my website, caffeinatedkyle.com and then I spent a lot of time on LinkedIn, Kyle Elliott, with two L's and two T's.

    EMILIE: Love it, Kyle. I will link to both of those wonderful places. Such a delight to reconnect with you. And I would expect you're pretty busy, in this kind of crazy market right now.

    DR. KYLE: Yes, yes, it is busy. It is very busy for job seekers.

    EMILIE: Well, and for good reason, because you do incredible work. So thank you for what you do. 

    DR. KYLE: Thank you, so do you.

    EMILIE: And thanks for sharing some of your wisdom with our listeners today. Today.

    DR. KYLE: Thank you for having me.

    EMILIE: For more links and details on everything Kyle and I just talked about, head to bossedup.org/episode500 that's bossedup.org/episode500. And now I want to hear what you have to share. Are you currently navigating this hyper competitive job market? If so, I want to hear your story. Write in at emilie@bossedup.org or share your story in the Bossed Up Courage Community or in our Group on LinkedIn or if you have recently nabbed your next role, what worked well for you? 

    [OUTRO MUSIC IN]

    Let's lift as we climb by sharing our experiences, including our challenges and our successes along the way. And until next time, let's keep bossin’ in pursuit of our purpose and together, let's lift as we climb.

    [OUTRO MUSIC ENDS]

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