How to Reflect on Your Year Through the Power of Story
Episode 380 | Author: Emilie Aries
As the year comes to a close, I've been thinking a lot about the power of narrative and story - specifically the story we’re all telling ourselves about 2022. After all, it's true what John Dewey said:
“We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.”
We humans are meaning-making creatures: we’re always consciously or unconsciously looking for the story. We’re constantly trying to make sense of the world with motive and characters and looking for that beginning, middle, and end story structure.
Before we turn the page and move on to the fresh start feeling that comes with a new year, it's important we first look back, reflect on all that this year entailed, and reflect mindfully on what the story of 2022 is in our minds.
Public Narrative v. Private Narrative
First, we have to get our story straight when it comes to where we're starting from and what we've lived through. This is especially important after a few years of a global pandemic, which brings me to my first point: we have to acknowledge the difference between a public narrative and a private one.
For example, a lot of folks across the globe suffered in 2020 with the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and with everything that followed. The public narrative can still (easily) be something like this:
“2020 was a hard year for a lot of people and things have been looking up ever since.”
The public narrative is always changing when we open Twitter, turn on the news, read the newspaper, or listen to the radio. While our personal narrative can easily be influenced by this public one, they don’t always align.
For example - Irene, Bossed Up’s Program Manager who spoke with me all about burnout earlier this year, had a better 2020 than most because there were lots of blessings in disguise for her, as far as employment and relationships go . But for Irene, her 2022 was a lot more challenging.
Acknowledging and understanding the duality and differences between what a public story and a private narrative are, is key. Especially when there’s tension between the two. Like, say, when the job reports are looking great but you’re struggling to land your next dream job. That cognitive dissonance can make you feel crazy if you’re not fully aware of what’s happening in your mind.
How to Write Your 2022 Story
To begin writing your personal narrative about 2022, simply ask yourself, “What happened this year?” Or “What did 2022 mean to you?”
Don't think you have to stick to the facts, only - feel free to editorialize! Give your opinion. What were the highlights? What were the lowlights? What was the hardest lesson learned? What was the main lesson, the main motive behind you, the main character's trajectory and adventure?
Whether your narrative of the year is a comedy or a tragedy, write that story down while being mindful of the difference between writing a victimizing story and a hero’s story.
Victimizing Story vs. Hero’s Journey
A victimizing story can include the unfortunate things that happened to you this year from the perspective of you being in the passenger seat. Let me acknowledge, first of all, that this is ok. Sometimes bad stuff does happen to us, so if you’re feeling that way, there’s nothing wrong with this kind of story, per se.
A hero’s story, on the other hand, might still include those challenges you faced, but in a different way. Instead of focusing on what happened to you, you’re focused instead on how you responded to challenges, how you dealt with uncertainty, how you managed to move on anyway. You’re writing it down, in that case, from the perspective of being in the driver’s seat.
Whether you see yourself as living through a victimizing story or a hero’s journey can make a big difference in how you approach the year ahead. The former might leave you feeling powerless and lost, while the latter can actually boost your confidence and remind you that you can handle whatever comes your way next.
Living Through Story
If you’re thinking, “Emilie, I am in the middle of my journey right now! I don't have answers, I don't have solutions, I don't have any victories to celebrate. I don't have anything to check off the big ambition list this year.”
That's okay. Maybe you are in the middle of your story. But my question to you then becomes this: where would this chapter end? What have you learned this year about yourself, about the world, about what it is that you want?
It’s critically important that we make sense of the year we’ve lived. Because if we're not making that unconscious narrative conscious, then we are mindlessly moving forward in our lives with our thoughts, our attention, and our behaviors being guided without our awareness, too.
Story drives our perception of the world, our lives, and our experiences, but they also can drive our very behavior: the choices we make, the things we pay attention to, and the chances we do or don't take next.
What’s Your Story?
Now it’s your turn. Take time to write your 2022 story down - whether you do it solo in a journal or together with family and friends as part of a collective exercise.
If you want additional support and are the kind of person who benefits from journal prompts, you’re in luck. Start with these reflection prompts that I created for my live workshop on How to Get Clear for the New Year, which will consciously guide you into the year ahead.
No matter what your story is, getting clear on that inner narrative will equip you to create an intentional roadmap for 2023. If you’re ready to take charge of your goals, snag one of our final remaining Limited Edition 2023 LifeTracker Planner, with monthly reflection exercises and exclusive invitations to 3 LIVE masterclasses hosted in January 2023, where I’ll go even deeper.
LifeTracker 101: How to use our goal-tracking tool
Mind the Middle Dip: How to Sustain long-term motivation
Reap the Rewards: How to thrive while you strive
Got a career conundrum you want us to cover on the podcast? Call and leave us a voicemail NOW at 910-668-BOSS(2677).