How to Talk Politics at Work
Episode 277 | Author: Emilie AriesIt’s Wednesday night, the day after Election Day and it’s late. I postponed writing this post for as long as possible without delaying our reliably regular release of our Thursday post and podcast, and the fact of the matter is: we still don’t have a completely clear picture of who our next President is going to be. It’s a wildly unsettling time, in the midst of a wildly unsettling year.
It’s understandable, therefore, that many of us are having an unsettling week. Many people at work feel on edge and distracted. Folks are flaking on meetings and regularly-scheduled client calls, And maybe if you’re like me, you, too, find yourself refreshing news websites throughout the day and talking about current events with whoever’s around.
how do you deal WITH POLITICAL DIFFERENCES AT WORK?
Or more simply put: should you even approach the topic of politics at work?
Today I want to share a few fundamentals of diversity & inclusion, with an electoral angle.
First, I want to make it clear that political diversity is a real form of diversity that people who value “diversity and inclusion” efforts overall should care about. While no, your political affiliation is not the same kind of intractable, intrinsic identity as race, gender, age, or ability, the fact of the matter is when it comes to the benefits of workplace diversity, political diversity should be taken into account. I like how Phil Strazzulla over at Undercover Recruiter explained it:
“No matter how your employees vote, your company’s ultimate goal should be to foster a culture of respect and inclusion by acknowledging an individual’s right to his or her own opinion while also ensuring that all views that are expressed are respectful of all people.”
So with the goal of fostering respect and tolerance guiding us, let’s talk practically about navigating political discussions at work this week.
First, Know the Risks
When emotions are running high, your anger, hurt, or even righteous indignation has the potential to do permanent damage to your relationships. If you suspect that your political beliefs differ from those of your boss or colleagues who have real power and influence over your career, you’ll want to weigh the risks and potential rewards of speaking up politically.
I think back to my former Persuasive Communications Professor, Barbara Tannenbaum, who taught me that all strategic communication should be goal-oriented and audience-centered. So what’s your goal, really? Are you trying to persuade this person? Change their mind? Or are you trying to keep the peace, prove yourself, and earn their trust and respect. These goals are not mutually exclusive, of course, but your desire for political persuasion may fall understandably secondary to your desire to maintain a productive working relationship.
Aim to Understand
The most empowering and respectful place to come from when approaching the topic of politics at work is a genuine sense of curiosity: a desire to empathize and understand where the other person is coming from. If you go into these conversations with an attitude of learning something new - not convincing someone else of your worldview - you’re more likely to establish the kind of meaningful, mutually respectful relationship that actually does lead to influence. As Rebecca Knight writes in the Harvard Business Review:
“The best way to learn from conversations is to ask lots of questions. “Be genuinely curious,” Joseph Grenny, coauthor of Crucial Conversations and cofounder of VitalSmarts says. Try to identify the formative experiences that shaped that person’s worldview and “come away with an appreciation of how he arrived at his opinion.”
This can be really difficult when you’re hurt by someone’s opinion, especially when political support for candidates these days can feel equivalent to an attack on your very personhood. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve really worked in recent years to try to respond from a place of curiosity or vulnerability when I’m feeling triggered - not defensiveness or rage. For example, when someone says something offensive or that strikes me as ignorant and uninformed, I find it more impactful to respond with a question like “What do you mean by that?” or “I don’t get it, can you explain?” as opposed to telling them how completely wrong they are - however sure of that I might feel. Or when someone says something callous that offends me personally and leaves me feeling hurt and enraged, instead of lashing out in return, I try to literally explain the pain they’ve caused me by saying something like, “Ouch. When you say you don’t care about this policy position, it feels like you’re saying you don’t care about me and people like me, who face this issue every single day of our lives.”
Let me reiterate: this is really hard. Your first instinct is much more likely to be to recoil in abject horror or lash out in rage. But genuine curiosity or vulnerability, however difficult to muster, are the building blocks of real connection in our ever-more-divided world.
Remain Respectful
When talking politics at work, things are bound to get heated. If you find yourself being triggered, take a “meta moment” as Dr. Marc Brackett calls it, to breathe deeply, check in with yourself, and feel your feelings. How are you feeling right now? How do these feelings need to be managed in order for you to regulate yourself emotionally in the way you want to show up in this setting, at this time, with these people? That emotional labor takes effort, no doubt, but that effort can help you from saying something you’ll regret later on.
No one has ever been persuaded to change their viewpoint because a patronizing, self-righteous colleague lectured them. Sheila Heen, author of Thanks for the Feedback, taught me that on episode 24 of the Bossed Up podcast when she emphasized the fact that before any of us even begin to internalize feedback, we question the source. Is this someone I respect? Is this someone whose opinion matters to me? If the answer is no, we don’t take their input seriously and they become easier to dismiss out of hand.
So maintaining a demeanor of respect - if not for the person or their opinion, at least for their right to hold their own opinion - is a prerequisite for creating the kinds of real, trusting relationships that do sway people’s opinions slowly over time. It’s not only the right thing to do - as Michelle Obama says, “When they go low, we go high,” - but it can also be the more strategic choice in the moment.
