What Becoming a Working Mom has Taught Me About Work and Life
Episode 336 | Author: Chris Castillo
Motherhood is a transformational time.
As we close out our motherhood and career series, Chris Castillo, an entrepreneur, working mother, and one of our favorite Bossed Up pals, drops by the podcast today to share her top three lessons motherhood has taught her as she navigates first-time parenthood, while balancing her career as a millennial career coach.
Motherhood is a transformational time. As soon as you start telling people you’re pregnant, the advice starts rolling and everyone wants to remind you how much your life is about to change. It is about to change (mostly good stuff, don’t worry).
When I got pregnant in the summer of 2019, I mostly knew what I was in for. I had an older sister who had 2 kids, friends who had done the whole parenthood thing, and I felt pretty well equipped. As a business owner, though, I had a whole other set of lessons that were coming my way. I would soon have to learn how to juggle my newborn, my business as a career clarity coach, and a pandemic which I (just like everyone else) didn’t see coming.
I’ve learned a lot of things since becoming a working mom (and a pandemic mom, and an entrepreneur mom), so I wanted to share my top 3 with you.
Ready?
1. I can learn anything.
Parenting has the most exponential learning curve that I’ve ever experienced. During the first week of having my daughter, pretty much all I did was cry and wail to my husband, “why did we think we could do this?!” It was rough. By the end of the second week, though, it was still hard, but I felt substantially more capable. By the end of the first month, I was confident that I could handle the road ahead.
This transition was the biggest surprise for me, and I wish it were talked about more. I spent my whole 9 months pregnant so consumed with anticipating the birth that I forgot to consider what happened afterwards. The learning curve of being a parent is steep, but it’s actually not that different from starting at a new job in some ways… You quickly learn how much you don’t know and it’s terrifying. Things are always hard before they get easier, though, and there’s room to learn if you can just focus on the day ahead of you. Soon enough, all of these impossible things will feel easier, I promise.
2. I can expand work to fill any amount of time I give myself, so instead I’ve got to prioritize.
My daughter was born in February 2020. To say that it was an interesting time to have a baby is an understatement. When I went out of office for her birth, I had planned to take off the month of February, come back part time in March to serve existing clients, and then scale up in April once we had a part-time nanny. As the COVID rates climbed across the US, that plan went out the window and my husband and I were left scrambling for childcare coverage. Thanks to my flexible schedule as a business owner, we decided that it would be best for all of us if I were to continue to take client calls 2 days a week, working around Rory’s nap schedule throughout the week, and spending my other time with her.
It was a rough transition, and one that was personally challenging as a business owner who puts so much of herself into her work. There was so much for me to do each week, and trying to fit it all into 2 days and naptime hours was incredibly hard! In the beginning, it felt impossible. What I quickly learned, though, was that it actually didn’t hurt my productivity. I could squish a pretty impressive amount of work into my consolidated days, as long as I knew which tasks were my priorities. That was a huge “aha” for me. If I could get this much done in my shorter hours, where were all those extra hours going when I was working full time?
I learned that filling the hours is the easy part. There’s always more that you can do and ways that you can spend your time. When you’re running short on time, though, getting crystal clear on your priorities so that you understand what’s actually essential, what can be outsourced, and what is a waste of time will help you stay productive. This was such a realization for me, and even when I have more childcare options, I don’t think I’ll ever be “always on” again. I plan to set my boundaries and pare down my work to fit within my available time, not the other way around.
3. I was never in control anyways.
Motherhood has been the biggest lesson in grace for me. As a control freak, I’ve had to get comfortable with my schedule changing around someone other than myself, and that was definitely a challenging adjustment. I have had to get comfortable with the fact that my plans can shift at a moment’s notice, and there have definitely been times where my day is derailed. Thought you were going to write that article today? Well your kid just got sick from their 6 month shots, so too bad! While it has been a strange thing to adjust to, this has been one of the best lessons for me as an individual. I initially fought against it, but eventually I realized that the world was never in my control to begin with, I just thought it was.
Since becoming a working mom I have become so much more resilient and flexible. I’ve come to terms with my lack of control and have learned to work with it instead of against it. I truly believe that it has made me a better person. If you’re a bit of a control freak too, open yourself up to the fact that that’s all about to change. Babies are such a wonderful lesson in flexibility and rolling with the punches, so get ready to learn.
Those are some of my biggest lessons from the last 15 months.
Rest assured that if you’re going to become a working mom soon, it probably will change you, people are right about that. You’ll learn your own lessons. You may be a bit more tired and you’ll probably learn more Cocomelon lyrics than you could have ever imagined in your “pre-kid” life, but in my experience you’ll also become so much more resilient, flexible, focused, and understanding. You might even become a better person. So don’t let what other people say scare you, and instead get ready for the adventure ahead. It will definitely be an adventure.
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