How to Speak Your Truth

I lost my voice for an entire year.

From Wednesday evening to Friday morning, I whispered my way through my days as an elementary school teacher.

By Saturday, I’d be on house arrest because speaking at all was painful. No talking on the phone. No hello’s to my roommates (I literally had signs in the house). Definitely no joining anyone at brunch or out for a drink because my vocal cords were shot.

Even now, my voice is much huskier because of it.

I knew that something was deeply wrong. None of my coworkers faced this problem. And this wasn’t my first rodeo. I had taught for four years prior.

The demands of this job were different. I wasn’t prepared for the physical and emotional hardship.

We were told that our job was “to be the most fun person in the school.”

“YES! Finally! I’m in charge of all the fun!” I thought.

It started out grand. I sang in the hallways to the kiddos. I had boundless energy and pulled the 12+ hour days of serious physical activity + leadership programs with no holds barred.

But I burnt out. Fast. Before I even knew it, my body was literally yelling it at me.

Truth: I burn fast + bright. I love the inspiration, the creation, the high of connections and love.

Also true: I wasn’t joyful all the time. I wasn’t high energy all the time. I need double the time to nourish, nurture, and regenerate for my spirit. I’m quiet. I’m introspective. For as much as I love gallivanting around hugging everyone, I need two days on my couch or in a park with a book + my journal.

I felt the expectations were too high and this time, I had gone over the edge.

When you are ignoring your truth – your body will tell you.

I took a new job where the pay was more but my ideas and my contributions were valued less.

Many days, tears leeched out of my eyes no matter how often I told myself it did not matter and I should not care.

When you are ignoring your truth – your body will tell you.

I left that job. I started a business but was still learning to fully embrace my truth and share it.

When you start speaking your truth, you will have days, weeks, months to spew out first. You do not know yet how to trust your own thoughts, feelings, and words.

You are learning:

How to speak your truth.

How to own your voice.

How to claim your power.

All of these things are coming, but treat yourself with kindness as you detox the days, months, or years you have been stuffing it down.

Here are 7 steps to walk through as you practice speaking your truth.

  1. Tune in.

Make time to listen to your deepest needs. Journal. Speak voice notes to yourself. Honor yourself and your process as you grow into deep understanding of your truth. Your body knows when you are giving it time. Make space. It’s part of what Bossed Up for Life is designed for – to help you carve out the space and time (on your own schedule) to beat burnout for good.

  1. Establish trust with yourself.

You’re going to have realize that you are walking a path. That while you may be in process, you will have different thoughts and feelings each day. It is a process of REVELATION. Memories that perhaps, you didn’t know you had will come to the surface. Trust this process.

  1. Know and care for all the parts of yourself.

A client was recently telling me about her thoughts about her absolute FANTASY weekend and it was turning into a battle in her head.

One voice said, “Get it together!” while another wanted her to “Slow down, please.”

You’re not alone there. We all have different parts of ourselves that have competing needs and wants for our life and livelihood. That’s ok. That’s normal. It’s like a Board of Directors of You, Inc. You must do the work to know who is sitting on your Board of Directors, because they are making decisions for you.

  1. Let yourself be seen.

Let me be clear, that this is not a recipe list. You don’t need to follow these steps in order. The fastest way to know your truth, to know that you are NOT crazy, is to be seen. Have others, in a safe space, see what is true for you, let them see you wrestle, and bear witness to your life. This is essential for human life and for love and for happiness, and it’s the foundation upon which SoulSpeak was created.

  1. Find a partner (NOT a lover!) that can support you.

A therapist. A coach. A healer of some sort that can actually support you in big ways on this journey. Having a strong mirror and someone that can hold you AND push you as you grow which is essential for big growth and for CLEARLY claiming the life that you so desire. This is why I am proud to see the rapid acceleration in the lives of the women I work with one-on-one.

  1. Start now.

Even if your voice shakes. Even if you have to say words and then you change them, because that, my fierce woman, is what truth telling is about. Sometimes it changes for you. Speaking your truth means that you are true to what is true for you in this moment, in the next moment, and now in that moment. It is ok if you change your mind. You can say yes. You can say no. You can decide to change. It is ok. But you must practice to know what is true for you.

 

Big love, + Bold laughter,

JESS

 


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